Are you ready for sex?
Young people can feel a lot of pressure to have sex. Friends may tell you they're all doing it (sometimes even if they're not), and you see it on the TV and in the movies. You might also feel pressured by a particular person, perhaps a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Or you might feel that it's expected of you by your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Here are some things to think about to decide if you're really ready.
Do you feel ready in yourself?
If you're not sure, don't be in a hurry.
Wait until you are sure.
It will happen when the time is right for you.
Think about why you want to have sex
Is it an extension of a mutually caring and respectful relationship?
Will it bring another dimension to an already wonderful relationship?
Is it to look cool to your mates or your friends?
Is it to ease loneliness or pain?
Sex can be an emotionally powerful experience. This means that it can be powerfully positive or powerfully negative. So think carefully about your reasons and your partner's reasons for having sex. Talk to your partner about this.
How does your partner feel?
What are your partner's reasons for having sex?
Make sure you really know the person so you understand each other's attitudes to sex.
If your partner's attitudes and values and outlooks towards sex are not similar to your own, your experience may not be what you are wanting.
For example - if you are looking for a lasting relationship and emotional commitment, and your partner is wanting casual sex only, then someone is going to be hurt if you go ahead. It's important to start from the same place.
Can you talk to your partner openly about how you feel? Can your partner talk to you? It's not always easy, but this is what is needed to make sure you both consider safer sex.
You need to be at ease with one another and to have got to know each other to talk openly.
Don't let anyone pressure you
It's your decision - no-one else's decision.
Some people will try to persuade or pressure others into sex before they really want to.
If someone else has a problem with you not having sex, it is their problem, not yours.
Just because you share some intimacy, maybe some kissing and cuddling, or go out on a date with a person (even if dinner is bought for you!) doesn't mean you're obliged to go any further.
You have the right to say no at any time. It is OK to change your mind at any stage and want to stop.
Your body is your own and no-one has the right to make you feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to.
Don't pressure anyone else into having sex.
Listen to what your partner is saying.
Respect other people's choices about when it's cool for them to have sex and when it's not, and what they are prepared or not prepared to do.
Remember that ‘No’ means ‘No’ - not ‘Maybe’ or ‘Yes’.
Just because someone has agreed to one kind of sexual contact, such as kissing, does not mean that she or he has agreed to other kinds of sexual contact.
Are you old enough?
There are two ways of looking at this.
You need to feel mature enough emotionally.
There is also the law to consider.
In Bangladesh, if you are 18 or over, you can have sex with another person as long as that person is also 18 or over, and he or she agrees to have sex with you.
The law is the same for heterosexual sex (ie. sex between two people of the opposite sex) and homosexual sex (ie. sex between two people of the same sex).
It is not an offence to have sex with someone who is under 18 if you are legally married to that person.
If you are under 18, it is against the law for a person in a position of 'care and authority' (for example, a teacher) to have sex, or to try to have sex with you.
There are similar laws in other states in Australia. Have a look at the Lawstuff site if you want more information about this.
Are you prepared?
Do you know enough about protecting yourself and your partner from diseases or unwanted pregnancy?
Do you need to think abut contraception?
Do you want to talk to a health professional first?
Do you have condoms?
